mutatron

Do Not Open the Brain

Oh. Okay.

Technical Standards (a documentation consulting company I hadn't heard of before today) has for the last few years been running a contest for the worst manual of the year. Many of the runners-up or honorable (sic) mentions are clearly victims of poor localization, and there's no way to tell if they are bad manuals in their original languages.

The runner-up for 2003, though, is a real peach. And English is (apparently) its original language.

With so many things wrong with it (in the first five pages I don't think there's a single word that isn't in full caps) it's hard to single out any one thing to slap with a dead fish. But who could possibly resist violating this particular instruction (on page 4)?

"Do not open the brain otherwise you can screw it up and you will void the warranty."

(Note that I took it out of full caps. I just couldn't stand it otherwise.)

And I wonder why people don't read the *ucking manual...

News Flash: SUV Drivers are Twits

...According to (former?) New York Times Detroit bureau chief Keith Bradsher. Most of us, I suspect, had already sussed this out. Interesting to have it researched as thoroughly as this implies, though.

Bradsher's work first appeared as a trio of articles in The Atlantic. I've been unable to find them on the Net, though--just this reference in a column (which, you'll note, doesn't mention the connection; tsk tsk). Good quote, though:

An intelligent reader will conclude from this meticulous and sober investigation that the makers of these behemoths have exploited a lucrative market of self-regarding urban and suburban consumers who care not a whit that by driving such menacing and wasteful machines they are committing a horrendously antisocial act.

Of course, Bradsher also mentions: "Above all, they are apt to be self-centered and self-absorbed, with little interest in their neighbors and communities. They are more restless, more sybaritic, and less social than most Americans are. They tend to like fine restaurants a lot more than off-road driving, seldom go to church and have limited interest in doing volunteer work to help others."

Embarrasingly large amounts of that quote apply to your correspondent. Perhaps I should trade in the Altima...

My Kind of History

My contributions to this blog aren't going to be nearly as socially useful as Chris's. But I hope they'll at least be amusing. For starters, let's look at my new fave-rave reading material.

I've always been a heavy reader of history, but every now and then it's nice to break out of the academic mould and kick back with a kid's book. Such as these amazing tabloid histories from Usborne. The link takes you to the book with my favourite front-page headline; to see all of the titles available go to this page and scroll down until you see "Newspaper Histories".

Here's another excellent use of the tabloid format, with particular relevance to yours truly (me roots are Viking). The content's pretty good, too. Taking into account the overall tone, these "tabloids" are a hell of a lot more accurate than your standard UK newspaper.

Up(down)grades

Shades of the PVR "commercial skip" up(down)grade...

This is a discussion forum wherein owners of the RCA Rocket EBook 1100 discover that the "upgrade" to a Gemstar GEB 1150 is at least partly a "downgrade". The REB 1100 included the ability to load non-Gemstar content, using external utilities. For the GEB 1150, you must purchase all content through GemStar - if they don't offer it, then you don't read it. If you had non-GemStar content, now you can't read it on your spiffy new grayscale screen...

An additional discussion forum here, where many owners make it clear that this is a Critical Success Factor in the upgrade process.

Also, here is the Gemstar description of the upgrade. Notice how they don't mention that the device you get back won't do all the things it did when you sent it in?

And finally, just to get a full picture of the attitude of the company, try this FAQ - see the final question, where the question of having materials on your PC or Palm is addressed:

"...second, the PC and the Palm Pilot are considered "open" systems: anything read on a PC or Palm could be copied illegally."

This ignores the point that you can also copy anything read on a GemStar Ebook. You just need a scanner or photocopier.

With an approach like this, it's almost as though they would prefer not to have the inconvenience of customers.